If there hadn’t been women we’d still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends. – Orson Welles
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. – Tim Allen
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You can’t keep changing men, so you settle for changing your lipstick. – Heather Locklear
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I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. – Mitch Hedberg
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Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow. – William Shakespeare
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All my life, men have told me I wasn’t pretty enough – even the men I was dating. And I’d be like, ‘Well, why are you with me, then?’ It’s always been men putting me down just like my dad. To this day when someone says I’m cute, I can’t see it. I don’t see it no matter what anybody says. – Lil’ Kim
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